


I've been lost before, now I'm found.

by Chychyd



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Fluff and Humor, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, nervous piano playing, obnoxiously sweet descriptions of each other, pre-wedding, seth meyers is a lightweight, small angst, these two idiots finally get together (spoiler)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 11:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14519400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chychyd/pseuds/Chychyd
Summary: “I’m not a normal person, Seth Meyers.” Stefon interrupted, the corners of his mouth turnt upward despite his serious tone. “I’m not just a silly party boy who happens to know all the hottest clubs in New York. I’m an onion.”Seth and Stefon's bad day ends with them getting stoned on the roof of the 30Rock building. Adorableness ensues.





	I've been lost before, now I'm found.

“How do you do it?” Seth asked, not looking at Stefon but staring straight up into the beautiful New York sky. Planes hundreds of thousands of feet in the air twinkled, mimicking stars. “A normal person would be run down, sick. No grasp on life. You get told your whole life that drugs just ruin you. They destroy your brain and they make you a different person. But you...” Seth stopped, choosing his words carefully. 

 

Stefon saw Seth lazily turn his head to look at him. “I’m not a normal person, Seth Meyers.” Stefon interrupted, the corners of his mouth turnt upward despite his serious tone. “I’m not just a silly party boy who happens to know all the hottest clubs in New York. I’m an onion.” He took a drag off the joint and blew it out, mesmerized by the swirling smoke before the wind snatched it away. He passed it over to Seth.

 

“An onion?” Seth laughed before taking a drag himself. 

 

It had been a bad night for both of them where nothing seemed to go right. According to Stefon, he had been watching the show at home and somehow just  _ knew  _ that something wasn’t right. So he rushed right over to 30Rock and waited in Seth’s office until they were finished. Seth ranted about tardy actors, broken props, and lame audiences for ten minutes after the show. Stefon had suggested they go to the roof to relax and unwind and Seth was surprisingly on board when Stefon pulled out the joint.

 

Stefon being at home on a Saturday night was enough of a reason to call it a bad night for him. He said he was still recovering from a “ _ Mild overdose. Not anything that was a big deal, though. _ ” Which is what sparked the conversation they were currently having.

 

“Yes. Stefon is much like an onion in the way that there is more than meets the eye. Under this Ed Hardy shirt is smooth, milky white skin. Under these pants is a rock hard-”

 

“- _ Stefon _ ”

 

“-and under that is muscle and bone. But way deep under. Somewhere in here-” Stefon gently picked up Seth’s hand, cold from resting on the concrete top of the building they were lying on and placed it on top of his strong beating heart. “-there is a lot that makes Stefon just.. not normal.”

 

Stefon’s hand lied gently on top of Seth’s, giving him enough leeway for Seth to move it if he wanted to. But Seth kept it there. Feeling the heavy, consistent  _ thump thump _ of  Stefon’s heart. It was so warm and steady under his touch.

 

“I know you’re not normal.” Seth chuckled. “But what makes you want to do these things? What makes the drugs and the drinking and the parties seem so… professional?” It was the only way Seth could put it. Stefon made partying look like a skill rather than a habit. Seth examined the red cherry tip of the joint against the black sky, feeling hypocritical.

 

Silence fell between the two men as he thought for a long time. Stefon absent-mindedly drew patterns onto Seth's hand, still resting on his chest. It was a peaceful silence -although Seth desperately wanted to know all the thoughts racing through the younger mans head. It wasn’t often Stefon thinks before he speaks. But then again, it wasn’t often Seth and Stefon had long, personal conversations about life while sharing a joint on top of the 30Rock building.

 

“There is a lot.. of things… that happen, up here.” Stefon tapped his forehead. “It’s loud sometimes -too loud. Drugs help quiet it down. Parties are louder than my head most of the time. Stefon knows there are better ways to go about it, and Stefon has tried. But… I don’t like being normal, Seth Meyers. Not at all.” Stefon plucked the dying joint from Seth’s hand.

 

“I like that you’re not normal.” Seth thought out loud. “You’re like no one I’ve ever met. But I couldn’t picture you normal -suit and tie, 9 to 5. I wouldn’t even want to.” That made Stefon smile. So many people have wanted to change him. So many have asked him why he can’t just be normal. But not Seth Meyers. Seth Meyers just wants Stefon to be happy.  “So what kind of things happen in that big noggin of yours?”

 

“Every since Stefon was a wee boy, his brain just worked differently than the rest of the kiddies. Or at least, that’s what I was told. Not like I can compare it for myself.” Stefon chuckled. “I did  _ very  _ well in school, a lot better than most kids. Stefon learned to do things that kiddies four or five years older were trying to get.” Stefon took one last hit, offered it back to Seth who declined, before putting it out on the concrete.

 

“So you’re a genius?” Seth asked, maybe a little too much surprise in his tone. Seth propped himself up on his elbows so he could talk to Stefon face to face.

 

“So Stefon has been told. I wouldn’t say it though. I think I’ve done enough stupid things in my lifetime to have that card revoked.” Stefon half-joked. Seth rolled his eyes.

 

“So what kind of genius-y things did you do? Or that you can do?” Seth asked, genuinely curious. Seth knew that there were things Stefon was good at, like making a good time out of almost any situation. And things he was bad at, like suggesting family-friendly vacationing destinations. But Stefon had never shown any special abilities so far.

 

Stefon thought for a moment. His childhood isn’t always so easily recalled. Purposely or not, Stefon has done a lot to block out certain memories that he’d rather not think about. Other memories were forgotten as collateral damage. 

 

Stefon tapped his fingers, muscles remembering faster than his brain. “Piano.” He stated thoughtfully. “A ‘prodigy’ is what they called it.”

 

“I’d love to hear you play. We have pianos in the prop room if you ever want to...” Seth suggested.

 

Stefon chuckled, “I don’t know if I’d remember how.”

 

“There is only one way to find out.” Seth jumped up and reached his hand out for Stefon. “Coming?”

 

“For you, Seth Meyers? Every night.” He winked. Taking Seth’s outreached hand. Seth rolled his eyes and laughed, his signature ‘ _ Stefon! _ ’ left unsaid.

 

The two raced down the stairs until they reached the 9th floor prop “closet”. It was actually a huge room, at least three or four times the size of one writer's office. It was filled with couches and tables of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Moveable walls painted with all sorts of wacky designs used throughout the years was lined in rows in half the room. 

 

On the other side held three medium sized pianos. Fairly old and not the prettiest in the studio, but they still looked beautiful to Stefon. The really nice grand pianos and antiques were kept locked away in the instrument hall.

 

Stefon sat down at a light brown piano. The wood grain was textured from a lack of waxing and was covered in a thick layer of dust. “Can I sit next to you?” Seth asked. The room echoed unexpectedly.

 

“You can do anything you’d like, Seth Meyers.” Seth slid onto the bench next to him. Stefon opened the keyboard cover and lightly slid his fingers over the ivory keys. “To me or otherwise.”

 

“ _ Stefon _ .” 

 

Stefon stared down at the keys for a moment, his fingers getting a feel for the cold, smooth ivory. “I still don’t know if I can do this.” He whispered with a chuckle, trying not to seem too nervous.

 

“That’s alright, buddy. Take your time. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!” Seth added quickly but Stefon shook his head.

 

“No, no. I want to. It’s just been awhile.” He tested one key, getting a feel for the sound. Then another and another. 

 

Soon there was a sweet melody ringing through the room. Seth didn’t know what the song was but the way Stefon had his eyes closed and his fingers grazed over the keys effortlessly was almost as beautiful as the song itself. Seth found himself studying the younger mans face. It was so smooth and relaxed. He watched the muscles in Stefon’s face -the way his eyebrows moved up and down as his brain processed the notes. The way his jaw clenched and relaxed, almost like there was a song that wouldn’t leave his mouth. It was beautiful. Stefon was truly beautiful.

 

Seth blamed that last observation on the THC running through his veins.

 

“I can feel you staring, Seth Meyers.” The corners of Stefon’s mouth pulled into a smirk. 

 

Seth quickly looked away, trying to focus on the quick precision of Stefon’s hands instead. “Sorry.” he mumbled out quickly. As hard as he tried to focus, Stefon’s hands seemed to blur together as they moved. Seth swore each key illuminated light as they were pressed.

 

“Oh, I don’t mind. It’s kind of nice to have it the other way around for once.” Seth felt his cheeks heat up, but did his best not to let it show. 

 

It wasn’t much longer before the song faded out and Stefon released a deep breath, satisfied with his work. “That was really beautiful, Stefon.” Seth let himself slump against Stefon’s side, suddenly exhausted. Seth sighed contently, overcome by Stefon’s body heat. He felt like he was literally melting into the other man. But he didn’t mind one bit.

 

“Are you really tired or really stoned, Seth Meyers?” Stefon asked, shifting to let Seth lean into him more.

 

“A little bit of both.” He yawned. 

 

“Ah, lightweight.” Stefon teased. “Let’s get you home. It’s been a long day.” He lightly patted Seth’s thigh and couldn’t ignore the way it tensed up under his hand.

 

Seth reluctantly pulled himself from Stefon’s warmth but was happily greeted by a heavy arm around his shoulders as they started for the elevators. He couldn’t help but lean into him. Or he probably could, he just didn’t want to.

 

The two grabbed a cab back to Seth’s apartment -Stefon planned to just take the subway back to his. “Do you want to come in?” Seth asked unexpectedly. As many times as Seth had been to Stefon’s apartment over the last three years, whether it was to pick him up for an event or check up on him when he wasn’t doing to well, Stefon had never been in Seth Meyers’ apartment. He had been to the Meyers family home in New Hampshire many times but never his apartment. 

 

But Stefon had never pushed it, knowing it was the home Seth and his “ _ serious girlfriend _ ” shared, he never felt quite welcomed there. But now that she was gone -for just barely a couple weeks now- Stefon supposed it would be okay. He nodded his head, stumbling out something along the lines of “Yeah, okay!”

 

Seth smiled wide and unlocked the door to his large, yet cozy apartment. It wasn’t overly grand or luxurious, but definitely nicer than Stefon’s. It was painted warm shades of reds and beiges with dark wood floors. It had a large living area with black leather couches that Stefon had no idea how they actually got up to the 5th floor. There was a bar in the middle of the kitchen with shiney new appliances. At the end of the kitchen was a hallway that Stefon guessed lead to Seth Meyers bed room. That place he had fantasized about since 2008 when he first spotted the faux news anchor while getting a tour of the 8H studio when he first started working with his brother as a writer. 

 

“You want a drink?” Seth asked, kicking off his shoes. Stefon would do the same but he knew he shouldn’t extend his visit too long, for the sake of his own sanity. Or lack thereof. His buzz was starting to wear off as it was.

 

Stefon shook his head. “No, I should probably get going. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get little Seth Meyers too stoned that he couldn’t make it to bed.” He smirked.

 

Seth chuckled and grabbed a water bottle from his fridge. “I’m fine, Stefon. I actually feel really great right now. It was just your music making me tired was all.” Seth smiled smugly like he’d just won some non-existent argument. “Come, sit.” He gestured to the couch as he plopped down comfortably. Stefon sat near Seth gently, against his better judgement.

 

A smiled spread on Stefon’s as he watched Seth, who was staring up, watching the ceiling fan slowly turn. They sat like that for a moment, both captivated in their own type of peace. Stefon watched the way Seth’s chest rose and fell evenly. He watched his green eyes go back and forth and the way all his muscles were tensed in concentration. He had ditched his tie much earlier in the night and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top, thin chest hair peeking out. The shirt was half untucked and his hair was ruffled and out of place. He looked tired and rugged. But he looked so good to Stefon.

 

“You’re cute when you’re stoned, Seth Meyers.” Stefon thought out loud, Seth closed his eyes and took a deep, relaxed breath.

 

“You always think I’m cute, Stefon.”

 

“Yeah but it’s like watching a completely different Seth Meyers with his tie off and his shirt untucked. Like  _ god _ , who even are you?” Stefon dropped his voice a few octaves, just to get a rouse out of Seth. Stefon knew it worked when Seth raised an eyebrow and crack his eyes open at Stefon, squinting in a way that, in theory, Seth probably thought was intimidating but was really just down-right adorable.

 

Unable to make a decent comeback, Seth instead tossed a couch pillow at Stefon. Stefon, dramatic as always, gasped and grabbed at his chest before falling to the floor, yelling “I’ve been shot! How could you betray me this way, Seth Meyers! Damn youuu!”

 

Seth attempted to shush the club kid between laughs. “My neighbors!” He giggled and pointed at the floor. Stefon rolled his eyes and crawled over to Seth on his knees.

 

Stefon braced his elbows on Seth’s knees and propped his head into his hands. “Do you ever have fun, Seth Meyers?” He attempted to blow a stand of hair out of his eyes.

 

Seth pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and shook his head. “Not as much as I should.” He answered honestly. Seth reached out and pushed the hair out of Stefon’s eyes, grazing the side of the younger man’s face. Stefon’s breath hitched and he closed his eyes. Seth’s hand stayed there, gently cupping Stefon’s face. Stefon heard the leather of the couch squeak before feeling warm breath on his face. He gulped.

 

Seth’s warm lips grazed Stefon’s before pressing them together fully. Stefon’s head spun but he was quick to kiss back, capturing Seth’s lips between his. A moment or two passed before Seth pulled away. The two men looked deep into each other’s eyes before Stefon crawled into Seth’s lap. They kissed again. “Stay. Stay here tonight. Please?” Seth asked in between kisses.  Stefon leaned back, about to ask if that was what Seth really wanted. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

 

Stefon was the one who cupped Seth’s face this time, watching the way Seth leaned into his touch. “Of course, Seth Meyers.” He answered with a smile before kissing Seth with everything he had.

 

Stefon woke with his arm numb, pinned between the couch and a sleeping Seth Meyers, half way on top of him. The sun was just starting to peek through the curtains which told Stefon that it was far earlier than he would normally be awake. He looked down at Seth -lightly snoring- whose head was resting on Stefon’s chest but his feet were hanging off the end of the couch. There was a small puddle of drool leaking from Seth’s mouth onto Stefon’s shirt. Stefon probably should have been grossed out, but honestly he had probably gotten worse on that shirt. That’s what washing machines are for, afterall.

 

The numbness in his arm was finally starting to bother him and he desperately had to pee. Stefon slowly but carefully managed to wedge his way out from under sleepy Seth Meyers without waking him. He quickly found a bathroom and did his business. He stopped to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was severly out of place, due to Seth’s roaming hands. He noticed small red-purple marks that peppered his neck and collar bones so he took the time to admired them.

 

His thoughts trailed back to last night. Stefon honestly can’t remember a time he stayed up making out with a boy like that since high school. No sex, no blowjob, no anything. Just two boys, nervous in their own skin, kissing until their lips hurt and they were too tired for anything else. Cuddling was also something foreign to Stefon for the most part. Not that he disliked it, he just didn’t like cuddling with strangers and he hadn’t had a real boyfriend since, god, probably college.

 

Stefon found himself quietly examining the apartment. Everything was neat and had a place. Books lined perfectly on shelves and awards, certificates, and plaques decorated the walls. Not only did it remind Stefon of everything Seth was, but everything Stefon wasn’t. He realized one of the large windows facing the couch was actually a balcony, hidden behind a curtain. Stefon quietly slid open the door and stepped out, careful not to let the door slam shut.

 

He slipped a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his boot. Stefon tried not to smoke them often. Nothing except the nicotine rush was appealing to him but when he had no other option, they would have to do until he got home. He sparked up and watched the sun come the rest of the way over the city. Something he hadn’t done in probably at least 5 years, if not 10.

 

His thoughts slipped back to Seth and his beautiful apartment and his beautiful life and his beautiful ex-girlfriend who just left him mere weeks ago. A wound that had to still be fresh in Seth’s heart. Nothing about Stefon’s life had been particularly beautiful. Not his childhood. Definitely not his teenage years. Adult life has been messy blurred nights, one after another. The only beautiful thing Stefon could think about was Seth Meyers.

 

The door sliding open behind him pulled Stefon out of his thoughts. “Hey.” Seth yawned, still obviously tired. “What are you doing out here?”

 

Stefon took a drag from his cigarette and pointed at the New York skyline. “Just watching the sunrise.”

 

“Can I join you?”

 

Stefon nodded his head, mesmerized by how cute Seth looked, bedhead and confused as to what Stefon was doing up at not even 7 in the morning. The two stood, leaning against the metal railing of the balcony and watched the sun glimmer and gleam off the skyscrapers. It was truly a beautiful sight. Soon Stefon had finished his cigarette and dropped the butt back in the box.

 

“Seth-”

 

“I’m sorry.” They said at once but Stefon stopped, letting Seth continue. “I’m sorry that I asked you to stay. That wasn’t fair of me.” Seth was looking down at the city below, not wanting to meet Stefon’s eyes.

 

“No, Seth Meyers. It’s fine. I wanted to stay. It’s fine that you wanted company because I know you’re still hurting-” Seth looked back up Stefon, about to interject. “And that’s okay! I am happy to be here to help you through this. I just want to know what  _ this  _ is.” He gestured to Seth and then back to himself with his finger. “If you just want to have sex, or just to make out or whatever until you find someone new, that’s fine. I can do that. But I just don’t want to think that this is something real and it’s n-” He was interrupted by Seth’s lips on his. Stefon grabbed onto the railing, Seth’s kiss making him weak in the knees.

 

The two men stood there for several minutes, kissing as the sun finally made itself known to the rest of New York. They both had morning breath and Stefon tasted like cigarettes but neither of them cared. The sun was warm on their skin and every doubt in Stefon’s mind fizzled away along with every brain cell that knew anything other than Seth Meyers. That was the only thing he could think of in his foggy, fried mind was the way Seth Meyers was kissing him and the way Seth Meyers kissed him last night and the way Seth Meyers was touching his waist. The way Seth Meyers had a fist tangled in the back of his hair. The way Seth Meyers’ stubble felt against Stefon’s face. Only Seth Meyers.

 

After a few minutes, they finally pulled away, breathless. They rested their foreheads together and just breathed each other in. Nothing had to be said because everything was said in that kiss. They wanted each other. And someway or another they were going to make it work.

 

“You want some breakfast? There is a great coffee shop right across the street.” Seth asked. A wave of fondness washed over him. Or was it love? Was this what love really felt like?

 

“Well, I just watched the sunrise in Manhattan and made out with the hottest guy in all of New York. Why not breakfast since I’m on a roll of things I never thought I’d do.” Stefon smirked.

 

“Welcome to the land of the living, Stefon!” Seth joked before heading back inside, Stefon close behind.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title inspired by Next To Me by Nick Wilson


End file.
